Another woman, bossing me around. Good thing, I guess.

 I was informed today that I am failing to accurately deliver on the promise of writing a riveting, dramatic adventure story in my blog. It was "Jacqueline" who told me this. She said that my everyday thoughts about dinosaurs and chickens, and whatever, were fine, but that's not what you all were expecting to read, She said that I am supposed to be writing accounts of my adventures, and they are supposed to be action-packed, romantic, and dramatic! Oh. Ok. I see.
 Well, I guess I should re-think my tack, and start over. I want everyone to read my stuff, and to tell everyone else to read it, too, so I can give lots of people hope to go on living. I guess this means I should try to stick to the good stuff, huh? Does this mean that I need to go back to the beginning? Tell the whole story in chronological order? So it makes sense? Well, that's not gonna make it make sense - no way! Just telling my story in the right order will not come close to making it logical, and some people will question the truth of  it, no matter how it's told. Some of you know better. You were there for some of it, or you took me to the hospital, or bailed me out, or sent me money, or came to pick me up from some weird, unlikely place,  or brought me home from the hospital. Some of you have been through enough crazy stuff with me, that I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be surprised one bit by anything I do. I guess I need to step up my game! No, not really.
 I guess I could start from here, and go backwards, or I could just tell it all out of order and random, like the way I do in person. I don't know. I know one thing- I have a lot to tell. I may not have a home, or any savings, or *investments, or anything else to show for my life, but I guarantee you- I have some stories to tell, and I don't need to embellish, or make up a single thing. I stayed pretty busy really doing adventures, and I guess I better start writing some of it down, before I start forgetting it. Well, forgetting any more of it.
  I want to know how to go about this. Let me know how to tell it. Leave a comment below, and tell me what you want me to write about, and how, or in what manner. I will start as soon as you all tell me where you want me to start.

It tastes like chicken. Maybe.

 It does not seem altogether unreasonable to assume that dinosaurs taste like chicken. At least some of them, the more bird - like ones, like raptors. Archeopteryx had feathers, and looked a lot like a bird. They (dinosaur nerds) say that birds are the evolutionary remnants of dinosaurs - their only descendants.
 Of course, one must consider the fact that, while many birds do taste like chicken - many do not. For example, the common pigeon. I have eaten lots of fat, corn-fed pigeons, and they taste almost exactly like premium grass-fed beef. Yes- beef.  The brainless ruffed grouse, who stands in the road so my car bumper will knock him in the head, and I can take him home and eat him, tastes like the most delicate, tender frog legs ever to hop into my belly. But don't frog legs taste like chicken? Yeah, they do. But better. Much better. Turkey tastes like turkey - unless it's wild turkey, and then it tastes a lot like duck. Duck tastes like doves, which taste kinda like chicken liver, which is usually part of a...chicken. Goose is kinda like...well, not really so much different than a wild turkey - or a duck, but kinda not as good as either, especially the Canada Goose. Don't get me started on those honking poop-machines, which, by the way - are not worth the trouble. A lot of trouble. I have even eaten songbirds. Yeah, I did. I was curious, and they got in the way. They taste like a dove. Or a pigeon. Or something in between. Pheasant tastes like really dark...chicken.
 Then, we must consider some of the non-birds that taste like chicken, such as the alligator. Oh, boy. This is a prehistoric reptile not even remotely related to birds or dinosaurs, yet- it tastes pretty much like chicken, a little rubbery, but very chicken-like. I have heard that rattlesnake tastes like chicken, but have not had the chance to try it, somehow...hmmm. Even shark has a texture somewhat similar to chicken. So does swordfish. Of course, as I said before, frog legs do taste like sweet, tender chicken. You can get the best ones ever made, at the Frog Hut in Wellsboro, PA. They cook them up just like really good, uh...chicken wings. Some people say tortoise tastes like chicken, because it does - except for the white neck-meat, which tastes more like crab meat than crab meat does. Bald Eagle tastes just like chicken. Yeah, I'm just screwing with you on that one, but they probably do.
 So, anyhow, back to dinosaurs. Since it seems like most birds have an equal chance of tasting like chicken or some crazy non-bird other animal, and lots of completely un-bird-related animals taste a lot like chicken, I have to conclude that perhaps it actually IS quite unreasonable to assume that dinosaurs taste like chicken.

  Man. That's convoluted.
    

Moondog!

Today I discovered Moondog. This guy was a street performer in New York city from the late 40's, until 1974. He was blinded by dynamite at 16. He made his own clothes, dressed the way he thought Thor did, deliberately lived on the streets, and invented several musical instruments. I'm not writing his biography, so go read the wikipedia entry http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moondog. He was a truly fascinating person, and considered by many to be a great composer. The first of his songs that I listened to was "Lament I, Bird's Lament" http://youtu.be/jSimbyS_YlA. I was instantly amazed. You should check it out yourself. I don't even know what kind of music it is. It seems a bit jazz-like at first, until it becomes apparent that it does not suck like jazz does, and then it's back to being in a genre of its own, where it belongs, I'm sure. You might not like it, or appreciate the genius of it, like a musician would (unless you are one, as everyone should be), and if you DON'T like it, it's because you suck - like jazz does, and you should immediately go pay someone to kick you in your kidney. I'll do it for free. Good day.

O boy.

I am having a hard time figuring out how to tackle this big job of selling all my things. I intended, at first, to list everything in individual auctions on ebay, but this would be hugely time-consuming and tedious. Several people have suggested that I do a live auction, and just get it over with. After a walk-through assessment, I am inclined to agree. It still seems like an overwhelming challenge. I have to get my electric bill caught up before I can have it turned on again, same with my internet. When I left a year ago, I neglected to have them shut off, so I owe for the charges of nearly a whole year. I'm so irresponsible sometimes. To be fair, it WAS a bad time for me, and something of a crisis, so I wasn't exactly operating at peak performance.
  Anyhow- I will be selling a lot of very cool stuff on ebay, and I'm sure that I will post links to  the auctions on facebook, and probably here, too. I will also post a link to my ebay store. I have a lot to deal with, and no help, and a lot of things on my mind, so I may not be writing such fascinating stuff right now, but once I get things settled a bit, I will get into the fun stuff. I have some very cool stories about my recent year-long trip, and the somewhat unusual 39 years prior to that.

Quickie

I'm just about ready to lose consciousness. I had a whole big entry ready to post, and there was an auto-save incident, and, well-this is what you get today. Sorry.

Post Number TWO

Ok. So, here I am, writing the second entry in my shiny new blog. I have made an executive decision to not use my blog as a forum for whining and complaining. In fact, I am hereby imposing a policy against it. I have also decided to substitute fictional names for real people, in order to protect their reputations. This decision was partly influenced by the text-message I got this (last) morning from *Dorothy, my girlfriend before I went to Tennessee and got married to *Jacqueline. In this message, Dorothy politely requested (warned) that I refrain from using her name, or any vague reference to her, whatsoever. I'm glad that she chose to issue this request right away, before I had a chance to, uh...do that. Yeah, so-where was I ? Right! Shiny new blog. I was told on many occasions over the last few years, by friends and acquaintances, that I really should write a blog, instead of just telling them all my stories. If you stick with me, I think you will see why. I'm pretty sure I will not remember everyone who suggested I do this, but the primary nag-er was my dear friend Debbie BP. She also happens to be my very first follower. I call her Debbie BP because she is so earth-day, hippie-ish, green, live-in-a-dirt-house, save-the-whales-y, and her two last names just happen to be Bliss and Plummer, which, if initialed, make BP- as in: British Petroleum. I could have never let THAT go. So now, she is Debbie BP, or just Deb BP. I don't wanna leave anyone out, so I will just leave everyone out, except her. Ok? I'm in a tough spot. Now that all that is done, on to the storytelling. When I say story-telling, I mean - exact account of my life, true in every detail. Yeah. Really. I don't think I'm going to tell the whole thing in chronological order. Why? I don't know. I'm going to start with today. Right now, I'm in South Bend, Indiana, on the last day of visiting my mother. I am leaving later, after I rest, for Pennsylvania. I lived in PA until a year ago, but I can't really live there now, for reasons I will explain later. My purpose in going there now is to see my kids, my friends, and grandparents, and to auction off a giant barn-full of mostly very cool stuff - if it's not all stolen. Then, if all goes well, I will have sufficient funds to start anew. I have done this all wrong many times, and I intend to do a better job of it this time. I see no possibility of any reconciliation with wife number three, Jacqueline, so I will most definitely NOT be going back to Tennessee. It is too soon to speculate on where I will make my home. For the next 4 to 6 weeks, it will be in beautiful north-central Pennsylvania, so I can take care of the previously-mentioned chores, and go get my motorcycles from Dorothy's house in *Toronto. I'm probably going to have to sell or trade my beloved Mercedes-Benz for a truck, and buy a trailer, if I want to take any of my necessary things with me. I just can't fit enough things into my car, even with the 5-body trunk it has, especially not motorcycles and welding equipment. So, there you have it- this is where my story is today. I am going to eat, get some rest, and take a very comfortable 10-hr? (I don't bother checking anymore) drive to PA. I can hardly wait to see my Debs (BP and Payne), Jacky, Katie, my kids, grandfather, grandmother, other friends who still like me, and meet some of my imaginary facebook friends in person, like Paula and Paula. Oh, crap! I forgot to use fake names! Oh, well.Too late now-I'm hungry, and I'm DONE.

Hey, look! A camel!

I have put off starting a blog for years. I always say: "Why put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow?" So, this is my improvised entry into the blog world. I was planning for it to be more extravagant, but I'm not really at the top of my game right now. I'm about a week out of my 3rd failed marriage, and sitting at my mother's house in Indiana, on my way to Pennsylvania. I have to go back and try to sell off all of my things, scrap my neglected house, and hopefully see my kids, before I go off to parts unknown to start over - again. I'm sure that anyone reading this knows me from facebook, and you will surely see some writing here that I will also post to facebook, but I can write a lot more here, and I'm sure I will write here daily - at least until I get tangled-up with the next wrong woman, and neglect everything in my life for her. I know that sounds rather harsh, maybe bitter, cynical, even fatalistic, but, well - that's the way I feel about it, I guess.  I wonder where I would be if I had put all the wasted energy into my own life, instead of using it all to try to fix someone else - or a few someone elses. I know - elses is not a word, and I don't really care. Sue me. English is a ridiculous language, anyhow. I will write more often, and include more content, depending on who reads it, and how much you all really want me to write, so let me know if you do - leave comments, and please, speak freely, as I value honest feedback. Thanks for reading.